TIME: 9:13 AM
...so what makes you think bigger ones can't? THEY CAN, but sometimes we have to dream small before we dream big! Here's a little story about your faithfull hostess of this blog, and I never really told anyone this until now:
One of the most beautiful things I've personally ever laid my eyes on are city skylines at night. I would always be in awe whenever we went to visit Jersey City, and when we were leaving at night, I'd stare at the view of the Empire State Building and the Twin Towers like it was the most incredible thing in the world. I think the sight of a skyline is gorgeous! I guess that's what I get for growing up in the suburbs rather than the inner city.
When I was a kid, I remember one night, laying in my bed, trying to fall asleep, and from where I was lying, I could see the night sky through my window. As I stared endlessly into space at the sky, I thought about cities. I thought about the beautiful, breath-taking view of a city skyline at night, and everytime my eyes gazed upon a city skyline, I would begin to wonder. Just the sight of a city skyline at night would pique my young curiousity:
- What is the city nightlife like?
- What are the parties up in the city like?
- How fancy are they?
- How beautiful are they?
- Are they even fun?
- What is it like to be apart of a certain group of people?
I always imagined the city nightlife to be full of champagne sipping, a room full of beautiful people, talking, laughing, sharing stories of each others' passions, you know, that sort of thing, and I remember wishing that someday I'd be apart of that life someday, and me being the tenacious girl I am, I never let go of that thought. I guess feeling like an outsider all my life had something to do with it a little, but the funny thing was, when I was studying acting at the college, I still kept that thought very close to me! At the time, it felt like that dream was so far away from my grasp, but my heart told me it was a lot closer than I thought it was.
I remember the moment I decided to go to New York to give my aspirations a shot, I thought about socializing with other actors in New York at gatherings, sipping champagne still, and talking about theatre, the arts, playwrights, etc. Of course, I didn't know exactly what to expect really, because I wasn't sure how New York actors were. Were they nice? Were they two-faced? Were they divas, cometitive? Would they even welcome me into their world? I didn't really care what they were. My heart was so set on seeing on what the life was like that the last thing I really worried about was the "competition" or the Manhattan theatre diva or who was nice or mean-spirited or anything. Ironically and much to my surprise, a lot of my college buds didn't bring their ambitions to New York. Instead, they stayed local, which is fine, but I would wonder why, and I remember them saying, "Oh, God...the competition! I could NEVER do it!"
I have to say that DID make me think twice a little bit about giving New York a shot. I could've dodged the idea, stayed local, or whatever, but my heart wouldn't let me. I could give myself excuses, but something inside of me refused to accept or listen to any of them, so with that being said, I decided to go for it. Sure I didn't have a lot of experience being on stage, but like a magnet, something drew me to the city of New York.
Now, as naive as I was when I really first started out in January of 2006, I knew one thing was for sure, because I have been warned: This is a very tough business. You have to be thick-skinned. You are up against a lot of other hopefuls, you will probably hear "no" more than you will hear "yes". And another thing I was warned about was that I was going to be told upfront that if I sucked, they will tell you, but you can't take that personal. I have to say, it is hard not to take harsh criticsm such as that to heart, but it's really true that you can't, because it never is personal -- it's strictly business. And you would think that someone like me, who is sensitive and whatnot, would be too afraid to give New York a try, but still, my heart wouldn't let me say "no". So, I went anyways.
When all of this started, I actually made a vow with myself, because I knew what to expect and I knew how fragile my mind was back then. I promised myself that no matter what happens, I wasn't going to walk away or allow myself get discouraged enough to give up. Sure I put my feelings on the line. I put my courage on the line, too. Sure, I've had moments of disappointments, but I've decided when I first came to New York, that no one - and I mean NO ONE - has a say on whether I continue or discontinue this journey, but me, and NO ONE is going to stand in my way from doing so. And even 'til this day, I still stand by that vow.
It's an odd vow, but it's something I strongly do feel, and I have to say, it has helped me whenever I came face to face with disappointments or heartbreak.
I think the one thing that's never changed about me since when I started coming to the city is that I don't give up easily. I don't believe in it. I don't believe in jumping to conclusions. I believe it's healthy and neccessary to take chances. I believe we are the ones who decide what our fate is, that nothing's written in stone. Anything is really possible! The thing with me is that people can laugh at me, say I'm hopeless, say I'm the worst actor in all of New York City, tell me I don't have a chance, and yeah, it would break my heart, but people can also tell me to give up and tell me to go home to Jersey, I won't do it. You can say anything you want to me, call me what you will, even push me in the biggest mud pile, just don't tell me to give up. I don't work that way.
One of my dreams coming to New York was to socialize and get a taste of the theatrical night life, and I'm happy to say that small part - that itty-bitty dream did come true! Granted, I don't do it every night, but when there's a chance to meet and greet with others, I take it. When there's a chance for me to learn something new, I try and take that as well. Sure, I get nervous, but that's only natural, yet I never let it stop me. If I were to allow ANYTHING to keep me from anything, I'd be kicking myself in the behind for months and months on. I'd NEVER forgive myself.
I've met enough people in this lifetime who wanted to be something special or make something special out of themselves, but never had the courage or willpower or even the mindset to do it, and that always saddens me. I think that's also the reason why I am driven - I don't want to live like that and have to miss out just because I was afraid to. I think people are afraid that others won't believe in them or they're afraid of being criticized. Trust me, I've been called a "starving actress" despite the fact that I don't have a big resume and that I'm just getting started. I've been told I was crazy. I was even told I was too shy and that I didn't have the personality. I've gotten some not so great reviews in classes both in college and even in New York. I've even been told that I may not be cut out for this industry, but who cares? I'm still here, and everyday, I feel as if I'm just getting started!
If this industry is meant for me, I'd be beyond grateful. If there ever comes a day my heart tells me this career isn't for me, I will simply bow out, accept it that way, and find something else to do whether it's related to the theatre world or not. That happens, too. There are actors who are very talented who decide to focus on other things after a while. Some stick to the industry, others go a totally different route. However, reguardless what happens, I will not regret any of this. At least I can say that I lived the way I wanted to and not the way others expect me to or wished for me to. =)
My thing is this: Even if I were my one and only supporter of this, that's fine. (Fortunately, though, I'm not, so no worries - I'm just generally speaking here). I don't feel I need to prove anything to anybody. I don't neccessarily KNOW what's going to happen, but I still stick close to that same promise. If one thing don't work out, something else will! There are millions of ways of achieving your goals and getting in touch with your dreams, but if you hold on and allow yourself to overcome hardships, welcome challenges, and not let anyone take anything precious away from you such as your dignity, they can come true, no matter what they may be.
See, I don't believe we fail, because we don't make it. I believe we fail, because we don't try in the first place. So far, though, a small portion of my dream has come true! I love networking! I love socializing! I enjoy the theatrical NYC nightlife very much, and although my experiences for now are small, just imagine what that all could possibly lead to! The only thing I've done was allow my instincts lead me, and luckily for me, my instincts have lead me to really good-natured, generous people. People who don't compete, but rather support one another. People who are willing to help and inspire, who are humble, but love what they do! The gatherings aren't high-class fancy like I imagined, which is great, but I like the laid-back, down-to-Earth atmosphere. So, on that note, my old mates from college acting classes are missing out. See what happens when you jump to conclusion and let your fears get the best of you? Yep! *nods*
You see, everybody? Dreams DO come true - no matter how big or how small! =) But remember the one rule of thumb when going after your dreams: Just do it for yourself and not for anyone else!
Remember Hillel, the elder: "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now, when?"
And think of your instincts like money -- use them very wisely! XD
Oh and btw: I never actually sipped champagne with anyone in the industry at any gatherings....yet. XD Actors' Champagne Gathering...interesting.... *smiles*
I remember the moment I decided to go to New York to give my aspirations a shot, I thought about socializing with other actors in New York at gatherings, sipping champagne still, and talking about theatre, the arts, playwrights, etc. Of course, I didn't know exactly what to expect really, because I wasn't sure how New York actors were. Were they nice? Were they two-faced? Were they divas, cometitive? Would they even welcome me into their world? I didn't really care what they were. My heart was so set on seeing on what the life was like that the last thing I really worried about was the "competition" or the Manhattan theatre diva or who was nice or mean-spirited or anything. Ironically and much to my surprise, a lot of my college buds didn't bring their ambitions to New York. Instead, they stayed local, which is fine, but I would wonder why, and I remember them saying, "Oh, God...the competition! I could NEVER do it!"
I have to say that DID make me think twice a little bit about giving New York a shot. I could've dodged the idea, stayed local, or whatever, but my heart wouldn't let me. I could give myself excuses, but something inside of me refused to accept or listen to any of them, so with that being said, I decided to go for it. Sure I didn't have a lot of experience being on stage, but like a magnet, something drew me to the city of New York.
Now, as naive as I was when I really first started out in January of 2006, I knew one thing was for sure, because I have been warned: This is a very tough business. You have to be thick-skinned. You are up against a lot of other hopefuls, you will probably hear "no" more than you will hear "yes". And another thing I was warned about was that I was going to be told upfront that if I sucked, they will tell you, but you can't take that personal. I have to say, it is hard not to take harsh criticsm such as that to heart, but it's really true that you can't, because it never is personal -- it's strictly business. And you would think that someone like me, who is sensitive and whatnot, would be too afraid to give New York a try, but still, my heart wouldn't let me say "no". So, I went anyways.
When all of this started, I actually made a vow with myself, because I knew what to expect and I knew how fragile my mind was back then. I promised myself that no matter what happens, I wasn't going to walk away or allow myself get discouraged enough to give up. Sure I put my feelings on the line. I put my courage on the line, too. Sure, I've had moments of disappointments, but I've decided when I first came to New York, that no one - and I mean NO ONE - has a say on whether I continue or discontinue this journey, but me, and NO ONE is going to stand in my way from doing so. And even 'til this day, I still stand by that vow.
It's an odd vow, but it's something I strongly do feel, and I have to say, it has helped me whenever I came face to face with disappointments or heartbreak.
I think the one thing that's never changed about me since when I started coming to the city is that I don't give up easily. I don't believe in it. I don't believe in jumping to conclusions. I believe it's healthy and neccessary to take chances. I believe we are the ones who decide what our fate is, that nothing's written in stone. Anything is really possible! The thing with me is that people can laugh at me, say I'm hopeless, say I'm the worst actor in all of New York City, tell me I don't have a chance, and yeah, it would break my heart, but people can also tell me to give up and tell me to go home to Jersey, I won't do it. You can say anything you want to me, call me what you will, even push me in the biggest mud pile, just don't tell me to give up. I don't work that way.
One of my dreams coming to New York was to socialize and get a taste of the theatrical night life, and I'm happy to say that small part - that itty-bitty dream did come true! Granted, I don't do it every night, but when there's a chance to meet and greet with others, I take it. When there's a chance for me to learn something new, I try and take that as well. Sure, I get nervous, but that's only natural, yet I never let it stop me. If I were to allow ANYTHING to keep me from anything, I'd be kicking myself in the behind for months and months on. I'd NEVER forgive myself.
I've met enough people in this lifetime who wanted to be something special or make something special out of themselves, but never had the courage or willpower or even the mindset to do it, and that always saddens me. I think that's also the reason why I am driven - I don't want to live like that and have to miss out just because I was afraid to. I think people are afraid that others won't believe in them or they're afraid of being criticized. Trust me, I've been called a "starving actress" despite the fact that I don't have a big resume and that I'm just getting started. I've been told I was crazy. I was even told I was too shy and that I didn't have the personality. I've gotten some not so great reviews in classes both in college and even in New York. I've even been told that I may not be cut out for this industry, but who cares? I'm still here, and everyday, I feel as if I'm just getting started!
If this industry is meant for me, I'd be beyond grateful. If there ever comes a day my heart tells me this career isn't for me, I will simply bow out, accept it that way, and find something else to do whether it's related to the theatre world or not. That happens, too. There are actors who are very talented who decide to focus on other things after a while. Some stick to the industry, others go a totally different route. However, reguardless what happens, I will not regret any of this. At least I can say that I lived the way I wanted to and not the way others expect me to or wished for me to. =)
My thing is this: Even if I were my one and only supporter of this, that's fine. (Fortunately, though, I'm not, so no worries - I'm just generally speaking here). I don't feel I need to prove anything to anybody. I don't neccessarily KNOW what's going to happen, but I still stick close to that same promise. If one thing don't work out, something else will! There are millions of ways of achieving your goals and getting in touch with your dreams, but if you hold on and allow yourself to overcome hardships, welcome challenges, and not let anyone take anything precious away from you such as your dignity, they can come true, no matter what they may be.
See, I don't believe we fail, because we don't make it. I believe we fail, because we don't try in the first place. So far, though, a small portion of my dream has come true! I love networking! I love socializing! I enjoy the theatrical NYC nightlife very much, and although my experiences for now are small, just imagine what that all could possibly lead to! The only thing I've done was allow my instincts lead me, and luckily for me, my instincts have lead me to really good-natured, generous people. People who don't compete, but rather support one another. People who are willing to help and inspire, who are humble, but love what they do! The gatherings aren't high-class fancy like I imagined, which is great, but I like the laid-back, down-to-Earth atmosphere. So, on that note, my old mates from college acting classes are missing out. See what happens when you jump to conclusion and let your fears get the best of you? Yep! *nods*
You see, everybody? Dreams DO come true - no matter how big or how small! =) But remember the one rule of thumb when going after your dreams: Just do it for yourself and not for anyone else!
Remember Hillel, the elder: "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now, when?"
And think of your instincts like money -- use them very wisely! XD
Oh and btw: I never actually sipped champagne with anyone in the industry at any gatherings....yet. XD Actors' Champagne Gathering...interesting.... *smiles*
That's enough candy for now!
Go treat yourself to some strawberries and champagne and I will see you in July! XD
Cristina
http://www.cristinacho.net/
